Wednesday, November 3, 2010

sad

Sorry there is no pretty image today.
It's just not been one of those days. So I am going to write and vent.
At times I love my job. I love being a social worker. I love being a counselor. I love seeing families work through their stuff and lives improve. I love sitting down with parents and have them tell me the improvements that they see in their kid's behavior. 
Those are good days.
Other days I am burnt out. I wouldn't say I hate it. But I would say that it's hard. Sometimes it is emotionally hard. Sometimes you get sick of kids. Sometimes I feel like if I have one more kid disrespect me I am going to scream. 

I really want to be the person who intervenes, meets them where they are, builds trust and all that stuff ... but sometimes all I want to do is scream. 
I know that the Lord is using me, but some days I wonder if I am loving enough. Or and I letting my anger and frustration show. How many times can I be cussed at or back-talked and still love. I know what the answer should be, but it's so hard. Really really hard sometimes. 

Sorry to be the downer. I am really feeling burnt out. I know that the feeling will not last. I know this is what I am called to do. 
I need God to guide me each time that I meet with a kid. I need Him to intervene. I need him to change hearts and families. 

I need Him to help me love those who are really stinkin hard to love.

2 comments:

Abby Farnham said...

I'm currently working on my Masters at UK in SW. I hear that the turnover is so terrible in our field because of burnout. Good Luck! I'm sure your days will get better. Thankfully there are so many facets of social work. If the current job you have isn't for you then there are endless possibilities!

kathy said...

I think you are just human. A person can only take so much abuse before it gets to them. I'm sure you're doing your absolute best. Just focus on the success stories to get you through the sadness.

Good luck!