sad

Sorry there is no pretty image today.

It's just not been one of those days. So I am going to write and vent.

At times I love my job. I love being a social worker. I love being a counselor. I love seeing families work through their stuff and lives improve. I love sitting down with parents and have them tell me the improvements that they see in their kid's behavior. 

Those are good days.

Other days I am burnt out. I wouldn't say I hate it. But I would say that it's hard. Sometimes it is emotionally hard. Sometimes you get sick of kids. Sometimes I feel like if I have one more kid disrespect me I am going to scream. 

I really want to be the person who intervenes, meets them where they are, builds trust and all that stuff ... but sometimes all I want to do is scream. 

I know that the Lord is using me, but some days I wonder if I am loving enough. Or and I letting my anger and frustration show. How many times can I be cussed at or back-talked and still love. I know what the answer should be, but it's so hard. Really really hard sometimes. 

Sorry to be the downer. I am really feeling burnt out. I know that the feeling will not last. I know this is what I am called to do. 

I need God to guide me each time that I meet with a kid. I need Him to intervene. I need him to change hearts and families. 

I need Him to help me love those who are really stinkin hard to love.