rashy

First ...

thanks for all of your sweet words on the nursery. 

Also, I just wanted to give you a little update.

Eric and I went to the Dr. this morning and the c - section has been pushed back from 

12:00 until 3:00.

Either way, Parker is still coming tomorrow.

I am very excited to meet him, but still scared about having my stomach cut open.

And I am still rashy

(if you have a really weak stomach, then don't look)

sick huh?

Eric told me not to post this picture - but I'm doing it anyways.

I want to rip my skin off.

Last night I told Eric that I think it's very possible that people in hell have rashes. 

It is pure torture.

Alright, I'm off to cover my legs in calamine lotion and take a nap.

pregnancy diaries - 37 weeks (and feeling it)

Hey there bloggers! 

I keep telling myself that I am going to get back in the habit of blogging more often, but for whatever reason I haven't.

I do have lots to share though. 

I feel like I need to write in order to get everything out of my mind.

Things have been hard.

I have been really emotional lately.

In the past few days, I've had all kinds of thoughts, feelings, and selfishness come up.

I keep asking myself - why didn't I think or feel any of these things for the past 9 months?

I still feel extremely blessed to have baby Parker inside of me. 

But it's been hard.

I was going to include a cute picture from our maternity photo shoot, but I decided to look down and take this picture with my iphone instead.

The lighting isn't great, but I think you can get a pretty good idea of the rash that is COVERING my stomach - and is spreading all over my body.

And that's by ankle wrapped in a cold towel so that I don't scratch my skin off.

So let me back track a little for you.

Even prior to the rash I was feeling a little sick of being pregnant. I still loved feeling him move around, but my back hurt and I had a few other pains that I won't go into detail about. Everything was normal - that's just life when you're in your last couple of weeks of pregnancy. I don't know if many people love the way they feel when they're about to pop out a baby.

There were a couple of times when I sat in my car on my lunch break and cried to Eric and said - they have to get this baby out of me. And he would sweetly assure me that baby Parker wasn't ready yet.

Then, about 2 weeks ago I went part-time at work and started to feel like a new person.

I felt like I had a lot more energy, and my days off gave me the time I needed to "nest" and get everything ready.

THEN, last Friday I went in for my weekly appointment (I was 36 1/2 weeks) and had a small rash on my stomach. My OB said looks like you have "PUPPS (google it)." At the time it didn't really bother me, so I didn't say much about it. She just advised me to use hydrocortisone if it started to itch. When she checked me on Friday I still wasn't dilated or effaced. I felt pretty bummed about that, but I was OK.

THEN ... over the weekend, the rash took over. All in all it was a good weekend and I spent some really nice quality time with Eric, but I was increasingly more itchy.

And the rash spread from a small patch on my stomach - to covering my entire stomach. It burned and itched at the same time. And then it spread to my thighs, hands, and ankles. I couldn't sleep. I felt like I was going insane with the itching. If there is one thing that makes you feel like you're losing your mind - it's itching.

So on Monday I called my Dr. to tell her how the PUPPS had spread. She told me to come in so she could take a look at it. When I got to the office it was kind of like - "yep it's definitely PUPPS, but there is nothing we can do to make it go away. Delivery is the only thing." She told me a couple of remedies that might help, but I had tried everything.

Solarcaine hydrocortisone, calamine lotion, aveeno lotion, benadryl, even preparation h in hopes to calm to burning! haha 

She did say that she could give me a round of steroids, but she didn't advise it because the  side effects were not favorable. I wasn't for the steroids either because everything I had read online (yes, I compulsively researched "PUPPS" - the weird rash that no one has ever heard of) said that steroids should be avoided. 

Then, she checked my cervix again. Still not dilated or effaced. Although she did say that my cervix was a little softer, but all in all - no progression. 

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I laid there on the table with my rashy body and cried. 

She told me that she could do an amnio and test his lung maturity (I was full-term at this point) and if the results came back saying that his lungs were mature, then we could induce. 

Then she went over all the risks associated with getting an amnio (like a good Dr. should) but I just cried even harder. I felt a mix of pain and guilt.

After talking it over with Eric and the doctor, we decided to go ahead and schedule the amnio. 

After scheduling the amnio and induction, I was instantly flooded with emotion.

Was I doing the right thing? 

I processed it, and decided that doing the amnio was the right thing ... and because of his size it was probably a good idea to induce early. And either way the amnio would let us know if we shouldn't go forward. 

I can't explain it, but I quickly went from "please get this baby out of me" to "holy crap I"m not ready."

I had felt ready and excited through this entire pregnancy. 

And then all the sudden, I was filled with anxiety. 

You might think I am crazy, but being honest here -

I laid in bed Monday and Tuesday night and cried.

I am usually not a crier. 

Monday I was anxious about our lives changing. You might think - didn't you think about that for the past 8 months? But no, I really didn't. I was just so excited.

I had a lot of selfish (but hopefully normal) feelings going through my head.

I cried and told Eric how happy I was with him. How happy I was being married to him.

And I even said - I love my life with you - I don't want it to change.

I wanted this baby. Prayed for this baby. Felt excited for Parker. He was planned. 

And all of the sudden - I didn't want my life with Eric to change.

I felt selfish and wanted things to stay how they are - because they're so good now.

Crying to him Monday night made me realize how much I love Eric & how much I love being married to him. But along with that I realized how scared I was for things to change. 

I thought about our time the we spent just a year ago in Europe and cried thinking - it will never be the two of us again.

Yesterday, I sat on the phone and spilled out all of these thoughts to my good friend Angie. She listened and assured me that I wasn't a terrible and selfish person. She brought me back to the truth of the blessing that Parker was & spoke from experience to the joy that a child brings to your marriage.

After talking to several friends and spending time in prayer I felt a little better. Still sick to my stomach and nervous about the amnio, but a little better.

Then, I tried to go to bed last night. I couldn't stop itching. 

Again I cried - and Eric listened. 

This time it was different. This time I cried because the pregnancy was almost over. Such a joyful time for Eric and I was coming to an end. I thought about all the amazing memories we'd had with friends, family, and one another throughout the past 9 months, and I cried because it was almost over. I thought about reading books to him in his room, walking around buy buy baby, showers, praying for him - everything from being pregnant with your first baby was coming to an end.

How can a women go from "get this baby out of me" to crying about it being over I do not know!! But that is how I felt.

Eric also reminded me of how I cried when we came home from our honeymoon because I wasn't going to be living with my roomies and best friends anymore.

So I guess crying is one way that I deal with change. 

I think I cried myself to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling nauseous and scared. 

I was nervous. But I held it together and went in for the amnio without any tears.

The amnio wasn't too bad. Hurt a little, but OK. 

I left after the amnio this morning feeling confident that the Dr. was going to call and say that I was good to go to begin induction tonight.

We were ready. Bags packed. Dog sitters lined up. Family and friends were ready and excited.

And my heart changed. I walked outside of the Dr.'s office and it was sunny. Since it's been so rainy lately, it was a blessing to see the sun.

Eric and I ate lunch together and I felt joy. I felt excitement. I felt ready to meet baby Parker. I didn't feel scared, selfish, or nauseous - but I still felt itchy.

THEN, at 3:00 today the Dr. called. The test came back saying that Parker's lungs were in the transition stage. They have a range - under 35 means immature ... over 55 means fully mature, and his came back at 51.

The Dr. advised to hold off on the induction. I felt good about that. I definitely didn't want to induce if his lungs were not ready. I felt like God had intervened and stopped things. I had prayed for that this would happen if it wasn't His timing.

Then, the Dr. went on to tell me her concerns for Parker's size.

As of today, they estimated that he weighs 8 lbs 5 oz. 

His head is measuring at 37 weeks, his legs are measuring at 37 weeks, but his stomach is measuring at 41 weeks. She said that this typically means that his is more "round" than long.

She wants to induce or schedule c-section for next week.

My initial reaction was to be induced and go for a vaginal delivery.

She proceeded to inform me of the risks associated with delivering a baby that is large. 

She is particularly concerned about his head coming out and shoulders getting stuck- which can lead to a lot of complications. 

So Eric and I are left with a decision to make. 

C-section or induction? 

There seems to be more risks associated with going for the vaginal delivery.

But at the same time, I keep thinking - what if there wrong about the size?? - Isn't my body made to do this?? 

And also thinking - why would I go for the vaginal birth if it's going to put him at risk?

So that's were we stand.

Eric and I are going to prayerfully make a decision in the next couple of days.

And I am going to be praying my HEART OUT that Parker would make his debut into the world all on his own ... before any scheduled induction or c-section.

I know that may not be God's plan, but I still going to tell God the desires of my heart.

Please pray for baby Parker.

Pray that he would come.

All on his own - ready - in the perfect timing.


(PS - I'm not going to read over this post before publishing - I'm going ahead and posting. Sorry in advance for an errors)

maternity photo shoot - 35 weeks (part 4)

Hello Bloggers!

Hope your Monday went well.

Mondays are now one of my days off - and let me tell you it is fabulous.

On Saturday I start telling E how excited I am to be off on Monday.

Anyways, not a lot of time to write tonight.

Things have been a little stressful here in the Ridd household.

Last week it rained a lot. 

And Wednesday morning we woke up to a leak in the roof with nasty stains on the ceiling, a sub pump that stopped working, a flooded craw space, and a furnace & AC unit that no longer worked bc they were damaged by the flooding in the craw space.

Yes, all of the happened overnight.

So we've been a little busy here. 

Trying not to stress or worry.

Getting lots of estimates.

And trying to get ready for baby Parker to arrive.

I really don't want to complain here on the blog - just wanted to share why I don't have a lot of write tonight.

I'll hopefully be back soon with a update on the nursery. It is ALMOST finished. 

Only ONE thing left to do. 

Frame and hang the airplane prints. 

I keep going to target and they are always sold out of the frames I want. 

Or they have like 2 and they're scratched.

Blah

I also hope to be able to create and photograph some new pieces of jewelry! 

And I have lots of pictures (that my friends took) to share of our baby shower from this weekend!

Be back soon ...

maternity photo shoot - 35 weeks (part 3)

  Listen to me, O house of Jacob, 

   all you who remain of the house of Israel, 

you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, 

   and have carried since your birth. 

 Even to your old age and gray hairs 

   I am he, I am he who will sustain you. 

I have made you and I will carry you; 

   I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

maternity photo shoot - 35 weeks (part 2)

more belly

maternity photo shoot - 35 weeks (part 1)

My friend Jenna is amazing for many many reasons.

One being that she took all of these pictures TODAY, and two because she already edited and gave them all to me!

I was going to put all of my favorites into one post, but then I realized that I had way too many. So I'm going to break them down into multiple post. It will be a little belly photo marathon for the next couple of days.

Enjoy!

There's more where these came from :)

preview

more to come

in the oven for 35 weeks and counting

Baby Parker has been in the oven for 35 weeks now. 

We're getting so close - I can feel it. 

As I write this, I am reminded of how pregnant I am by the pain in the right side of my back.

A couple random things ...

1.

We go back to the dr. on Wednesday & my amazing and talented friend Jenna is doing a maternity session for us on Monday. I'm really excited about both of the those things.

2.

I still have a feeling that he will come early. 

But I don't want to get my hopes up.

My guess is May 1st - E's guess is May 9th

3.

The nursery is almost finished.

 Only 2 things left on the to-do list. 

1. Frame and mat airplane photos. 

I think I'm going to use graph paper as the matting. 

I haven't told E that yet. It will be interested to see his reaction.

My amazing friend Jen used graph paper on Parker's baby shower invites and I love them.

2. Paint the existing chandelier red.

oh wait there is actually three things -

3. Organize closets.

Three is not bad though when we started with a list a mile long.

4.

I'm starting to get stretch marks ( on my butt and thighs). It sucks. I swear that out of all the places on my that have grown, my butt and thighs have grown the least. Weird huh?

Everything I read said that creams and oils did nothing, and that it was all up to your genes. HOWEVER, since the beginning I have been breaking open vitamin E capsules a couple times a week and putting the oil on my belly and boobs and I have NO MARKS. I never thought to put the oil on my butt or thighs & that's where I have the stretch marks.

Coincidence or not?

Now that I have them,

I am obsessively using sugar scrub, vitamin E, and cocoa butter in hopes of preventing more and lightening the ones that I have.

5. 

Tonight I went shopping for a lingerie shower for one of the girls in my bible study.

As I walked around the mall, I missed being able to wear normal clothes.

But surprisingly, I was overwhelmed by gratefulness for this baby growing inside of me.

I am excited for the day when I can buy a normal outfit, but I am REALLY excited for the day when I get to meet this little boy inside of me.

Plus, I think wearing maternity clothes for months will make shopping in normal stores all the more fun.

6.

I bought Parker an outfit to wear home from the hospital.

Sorry the quality is absolutely terrible. I got an urge to blog - so I took this picture on my iphone with no natural light.

Here's a close up of the print.

It's from the dwell studio line at Target.

I want to buy all the clothes that dwell studio makes for little boys.

7.

I have a question for moms out there -

what do you pack in your bag for the hospital?

Well, I think that's about all my random thoughts for now ...

pregnancy diaries - 30 weeks!!

Hello bloggers! 

Sorry it's been so so long! 

I feel like my to-do list has been a million miles long lately, and blogging always gets pushed back.

But today I am 30 weeks preggo ... and that's something to write about!

I feel like I have reached a milestone. 

I can now officially count down weeks in the single digits. 

He's really coming ... soon!

I feel a mix of excitement and anxiety about my due date approaching. 

Anyways... here is the update at 30 weeks:

how preggo am I?

30 weeks

gender:

BOY

Parker John Ridd

maternity clothes:

I'm in maternity shirts and pants 100% of the time.

I alternate the same pairs brown and black pants everyday to work. I am excited to be able to start wearing dresses. Although whenever I try on a dress I look in the mirror and feel extra wide. 

My favorite things to wear are my leggings, green Hunter rain boots, gap maternity tanks, lots and lots of hand me downs from my fabulous friends (literally 90% of my maternity wardrobe is handed down from other people), and cardigans. I love being able to wear a maternity shirt paired with a "normal" cardigan. My favorite pair of jeans I've bought are from Gap. I bought them at the end of my first trimester and they've served me well. I also wear them all the time. 

I've started to wear more baby doll shirts. I'm not sure if it is being self-conscious or what. I like wearing tight shirts, but I feel like every time someone comments on how "big" I am. Strangers and people I know. 

OHHHH THE THINGS I'VE WANTED TO SAY BACK.

People say crazy things to you when you're pregnant. 

Here's a word of advice to everyone out there:

never say anything to a hormonal, uncomfortable pregnant woman that she can't respond with a simple "thanks" to. 

For example you can never respond with "thanks" when someone says "you're looking big ... are you sure there aren't twins in there."

Yes. I have heard that one. Many times. And yes I am pretty sure there's only one baby in me.

movement:

He's moving around all the time. I love feeling him move. I love watching my stomach move. Although lately I feel like the spots were he kicks a lot are getting a little bit more tender. Not painful, just tender. I feel him everywhere, but I feel him on my upper right side the most. Lately, I have loved not just being able to feel my stomach move, but to be able to push where he kicks and feel him. I don't know if that makes sense if you haven't ever been pregnant ... but it's a crazy thing. I swear I can feel his foot or elbow pointing out. Sometimes I even feel like my stomach is very slightly lopsided for awhile ... and I figure that his little body is settled more on one side.

sleep:

Thankfully I am still sleeping really well. My back hurts more when I go to bed, but it's not excruciating. I usually use one of my homemade heating pads. I usually wake up anywhere from 2-4 times to pee. I feel like that's God's way of getting my body used to not sleeping through the night.

what I miss:

Feeling in shape. Feeling like I can walk around easily. Being able to bend over and touch my toes. Being flexible.

cravings:

I honestly can't think of any cravings I've had lately.

symptoms:

Since I've entered my third trimester, I've encountered a bunch of new symptoms.

Most are not so comfortable. Don't get my wrong, I still feel like this has been an easy pregnancy ... and I feel VERY lucky! But none the less ... I feel pregnant. And so my feet feel sore if I walk too far. My hands start to tingle and swell when I walk far (thankfully they go back down and I can still wear my rings). For the last couple days, I think Parker is pinching one of my nerves. I have this annoying pain about halfway up my back on my right side. It feels like a pinched nerve and it doesn't go away no matter how I move.

I have also started having pelvic/groin pain. This pain was something that I didn't know you got when you were pregnant. For about a week I kept telling E that the muscles between my legs hurt. He just looked at me like "I'm not sure how to help you with this one." I finally asked my dr. and she said that this is common in pregnancy. In a nut shell, she explained that my body is producing hormones that cause the ligaments that hold my pelvic bone in place to loosen up ... so the baby can come out. And that's what causes the pain. Isn't that CRAZY? It's amazing the way that God designed womens' bodies to carry babies. 

best moments {lately}

Last week E and I look our baby moon to the classy & sunny southern city of Charleston, SC. We had a fabulous time ... but I'll share more about that in an upcoming post. 

We've also been working very hard on the nursery. It's really coming together. So together that he could almost live there if he had to. We'd maybe have to buy a sheet and some bottles, but that's about it.

We still have a lot more little projects before the final reveal ... but here's a sneak peak:

I'll share some more pictures once we get a sunny day. I am hesitant to share pictures bc It's not finished, but I know I'll like to look back and see the evolution of the room.

I am also planning on sharing a mini diy on how we did the board and batten.

Another fun memory of the week was shopping at our church's consignment sale for children ... also known as little lambs. It's a wonderful sale that's put on by amazing women at my church. They have the sale every March and August and raise mass money every time. I'll share more about the steals we found soon!