stella bella

happy wednesday

2012-01-18T10:35:00.000-06:00

Hey there! Hope you feel as happy today as this little man :)

This picture was taken back in Dallas - so he's a little bigger now.

But it makes me so happy that I just had to share.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. No reason why I haven't been blogging - just haven't felt like it. I'm sure I'll get back into it soon.

Until then,

smile :)

too sweet

2012-01-08T20:14:00.001-06:00

Parker's teacher captured this picture of my little man napping.

I love it. He is insanely sweet and crazy fun at the same time.

He's growing up so fast - I can hardly stand it.

tomorrow - or weeks later

2011-11-29T21:03:00.001-06:00

Hey friends!

I know I said I would post Parker's 6 month pictures "the next day" - and now it's weeks later.

It seems like life has really been crazy - like my to-do list in my head is never ending.

But I know that pretty much everyone feels that way, and I don't want that to get in the way of capturing growth and changes in our family.

I know that these days are going to go by so fast ... and someday they will be hard to remember. I feel like Parker is already becoming a little boy before my very eyes ... and I want to be able to use this blog to look back and remember...

So ... without anymore delay ... here are Parker's 6 month photos.

ps - all pictures were taken by the amazingly talented Jenna -
from
Jenna Nicole Photography

I am madly in love with this little man ...

and I'm pretty crazy about his dad too :)

A few other things going on around here ...

Girl Christmas is less than 2 weeks away and I haven't even started my gifts

We're having house troubles and our furnace keeps shutting off - which gets very cold

Eric and I are planning a get - a -way for our 5 year anniversary! I'm so excited ... I think we're leaning towards going to San Diego

Getting back to work today was rough - I missed little P so much

Jen, Cory, and I have some BIG plans up our sleeves ... I'll share more details soon :)

6 Month Photos

2011-11-09T21:17:00.000-06:00

Preview

More to come tomorrow :)

he's going to be a heartbreaker

2011-11-07T08:21:00.000-06:00

Nemo + Woody = BFF

2011-11-01T17:33:00.000-05:00

Last night, Parker (Woody) had so much fun trick or treating with his buddy Silas (Nemo).

We've been friends with Nemo's parents for many years, and it is a blessing to be able to parent our babies together.

I can't wait to watch these two crazy boys grow up together.

I am also thankful for these days when we get to pick their sweet Halloween costumes.

They melted my heart ... my heart might break a little when they want to be weird zombies with blood all over them.

Here are some pictures from the night ...

Si's little fin waved back and forth with each step.

Adorable.

P's hat was a little big ... and he was obsessed with putting it in his mouth.

"cheese"

P was also preoccupied with eating his Woody doll...

After a couple of houses, Si got tired and decided to lay down in the neighbors yard

Our super sweet neighbors handed P some puffs when we came to their house to trick or treat.

I was blown away by how thoughtful it was :)

So ... P didn't have any candy ... but he did try his first puff.

It's way too hard to get two boys to smile for a picture at the same time

Best.Trick.Or.Treating.Ever.

Melt my heart.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T19:11:00.002-05:00

A little preview of Parker on Halloween ...

More to come soon ...

farmer's market in the Fall

2011-10-31T09:02:00.001-05:00

introducing solids

2011-10-31T08:46:00.000-05:00

our Fall mantel

2011-10-27T20:50:00.000-05:00

for only the cost of a bag of mini pumpkins

my almost 6 month old

2011-10-25T21:35:00.001-05:00

I might be a little biased, but I think he's the cutest little man ... ever.

Look at those chunky thighs?

I know I say it all the time, but I am crazy in love with him.

I think are rough beginning together has made me realize even more how much my love for him only grows.

Thankfully, it just keeps getting sweeter.

So if you're reading this and find yourself in the middle of the newborn fog - please trust me - IT DOES GET BETTER.

So much better.

Also ...

How much do you love my new blog design??

Thanks to my amazingly talented friend Angie, the blog has a new look :)

She can make your blog beautiful as well - just ask her!

You can get more information about her designs here.

porch

2011-10-17T12:57:00.000-05:00

I have dreams about having a big front porch.

But currently, we live in a cape cod style home with no front porch ... womp womp.

So needless to say, when I found this picture I was blown away.

Maybe my dreams of a big front porch can come true someday :)

Full of excitement, I immediately showed the picture to Eric ...

bad idea.

Eric hates projects ... especially the idea of big projects like this one.

Anyways, I was super excited and showed him the picture.

I rambled on about my dreams of a front porch and how this house was "just like ours, but they had a porch" ... and I proceeded to tell him how "easy" it would be to add on a porch like this. bahaha

He followed up with conversation my telling me that the house in the picture is nothing like our house and went on to elaborate on how much it would cost to add on a porch.

So much for my excitement :(

So I thought I would share with you all ... because anyone who reads blogs loves to dream ... and loves a good project!

balance

2011-10-14T07:31:00.000-05:00

This print is pretty much the story of my life

I want my life to be more like this

How do you combine the too?

How do you balance the world of pinterest ... brimming with inspiration and projects ... and a simple life?

If you have the secret let me know!

I feel like this girl has the secret

(screen shot from the iphone)

She looks like she full of inspiration, but still very peaceful ... like she has it all together.

I'm jealous.

I bet she doesn't have a 5 month old ... and if she does ... I don't want to know about it!

another baby falls prey to

2011-10-12T08:00:00.002-05:00

Sophie a la giraffe.

He is smitten by Sophie.

If we go somewhere an I know that we're going to be there for awhile ... I save Sophie for my last ditch effort.

Also, check out those blue eyes ... I hope that stay this way.

I think they're lighter than when he was born ... so I have hope that they're here to stay.

You have to admit ... he's pretty darn cute!

(this picture is especially flattering bc you cannot see the back of his head. Seriously, this little guy has some crazy hair ... maybe that's another blog post for another day. Gotta keep it real - right?)

build it yourself or an old charmer?

2011-10-11T08:00:00.001-05:00

Almost everyday that I work, I drive past this home

I am in the love with every detail.

My house is brick, but if I were going to paint the brick ... I think I'd choose this color scheme.

I was looking back in my phone the other day and I found the picture above. I've also watched the video of Edie's new home too many times.

The two combined have got me thinking.

I always felt pretty certain that my dream was to live in a big old house someday.

I love the history and character that old homes carry ... like the one above.

A lot of the architectural details of an old home cannot be replicated.

However, after watching Edie's video ... I feel strangely drawn to the dream of building a new home.

(obviously neither of these are a reality for us anytime soon ... but I can dream right?)

I cannot even imagine getting the freedom of picking out every detail in a new home.

Everything from cabinets to countertops to doors to doorknobs, to how wide you want the hard wood flooring to be.

Not to mention all the lighting options.

I don't know if I would love it, or if it would totally stress me out.

But having EVERYTHING brand new would be AMAZING!

Everything would be so clean ... for a little while at least.

However, I think that it would feel cleaner for longer. New stuff just seems cleaner than old stuff.

What about you all ... for your dream home ... would you go with a built to yourself ... or an old charmer in need of personal touches?

I'm really excited about today's post

2011-10-10T08:00:00.002-05:00

Hello Boggers :)

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend.

Eric is currently writing a paper ... boo ... so I thought I would take the opportunity to catch up on all of the things I want to share with you all.

This weekend Eric turned 29 and we were able to celebrate big time! We began the day with breakfast at Dunkin Doughnuts and a trip to the farmer's market. I took a bunch of pictures at the farmers market that I'll share soon - I got real stressed out at how much I still suck at using our real camera ... but oh well.

After the farmers market, we took a much needed nap while little P napped.

Then, we packed up the car and drove to Newport, KY to meet our families for dinner.

We had dinner at Brio to celebrate Eric and my dad.

The meal was great and Parker was good considering how long we were there.

Oh and before I forget to mention it ...earlier in the week we snuck away for an amazing date to the Melting Pot.

One of the college girls in the small group that I lead volunteered to babysit for FREE :)

It was such a treat.

Back to Eric's actual birthday ...

After dinner, we drove back to Lexington and put little P to bed.

Eric read GoodN Night Moon for the 1,000th times, sang "I love you Lord," and gave him a "few" good night kisses.

While Eric put little P to bed, I set up a special surprise for us.

A couple of weeks ago, Jen posted about the fort her and Ben built in the middle of their living room for their anniversary weekend. I LOVED the idea. So sweet ... and you'll never too old for a fort right?

We caught up on this week's episode of Modern Family (currently my favorite show) and talked about what we want for our little families future. We talked about traditions we want to start, foster care, our jobs, and how much fun it will be to build a fort for Parker someday.

It was the perfect end to the day!

Happy Belated Birthday Eric :)
Next year will be the big 3-0!

happy boy

2011-10-09T21:03:00.003-05:00

My little man is growing so fast that I can hardly believe it.

He's already 5 months old! Yikes ... that's almost 1/2 a year.

Little P,

I know I say this in every letter I write you ... but I love you more and more all of the time.

I really mean it. I love watching you grow, learn, and explore. You're no longer into your once beloved mat or your swing, you've moved onto bigger and better things ... your bouncer. You love to grab all of the toys on this thing, and you really love all of the noises that it makes. You're getting a lot stronger and you can roll from your belly to your back. You can move from your back to your side, but you haven't figured out how to get all the way over. However, I know that you're not too far from being able to roll both ways. In the past month, you've learned how to grab things on your own. I can put your toys out in front of you and you can grab them ... and of course everything goes right into your mouth once you get it. You're favorite thing to do it grab your blue elephant and very hungry caterpillar toys that hang from your car seat. They're velcroed onto the handle, and you love to pull them off and play with them. You always love to be moving. You love to kick your legs and fly around the house like an airplane (of course you can't really fly, but Daddy zooms you around like a little plane). You kick your legs so much that you've really become a pain to dress. I put one leg in your pants, and before I can get back in you've kicked the other one out. You smile and love this game, but I do not love it quite as much as you. You also move all around in your crib at night. I'll find you turned side-ways and holding onto the rails of your crib. Although you like to move around a lot, you still love to sleep in my arms. You take almost all of your naps in your crib (you take 2-3 naps right now), but there are still times when you fall asleep in my arms and I can't bring myself to put you down so I just hold you. You're also eating all kinds of new food. I've been making you all kinds of food, and I'm determined to help you from becoming a picky eater. So far you've tried peas, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, bananas, avocado, spinach, carrots, pumpkin, clementines, and parsnips. Sometimes you'll willingly eat whatever I give you, but other times you cry and spit it back out. So far your favorite thing is bananas and avocado mixed. Your least favorite is probably butternut squash. You've been sick on and off with several colds, and you get a real bad cough when you're sick. It breaks my heart. I think that you catch them from daycare. Sometimes when you're sick I wish I could stay home with you everyday, but I also know that you will do well interacting with all of the other kids and learning to trust other adults. I love you so much Parker. I love going to get you from your crib with you wake up. You always smile so big when you first wake up. You daddy makes fun of me because I always look into your crib and say (in a surprised voice) - "oh there's a little man in there. He's kind of cute too." I don't know why I say that ... I guess it's just something that has stuck. I guess I'm always still a little amazed that you're out of my belly and in the world. I am so thankful that God gave you to your Daddy and I. We thank God for you every night and pray that you will never know a day that you do not love the God who created you.

following

2011-10-06T11:27:00.000-05:00

Happy Thursday Bloggers!
I feel like I have been able to blog more frequently this week & I love that.

I want to share with you all a blog that I've been following for a long time now.
Some of you may already follow Life in Grace, but for those of you who do not ...

I can promise that you will be enriched by Edie's thoughts on life, design, and Jesus Christ.

I am constantly challenged to grow more in my knowledge of the Word through her writings.

Just to fill you all in ...
Almost one year ago Edie's entire home burned.
She shared a gorgeous lake house with her family, and it was heartbreaking to read her honest words as she made meaning of her life after the fire.

They literally lost everything in the fire.

Over the past year,Edie and her family have been working to rebuild their lives, and a new home with the same lakefront view.

Edie is currently doing a 31 day series on "rebuilding your house and heart."

I have been following everyday and I love it.

Her honestly and insight is challenging to me.

And her house is absolutely breath taking.

If you're needing some design inspiration, then look no further.

Also, you should watch her video from last week. It shows a lot of the close up details of the home. Ah - mazing.

And just because, I thought I would share her kitchen from their home that was destroyed.

Whenever I dream about renovating our kitchen ... I continuously go back to this image.

I love everything about it. Seriously everything. I don't think there is one thing that I do not love.

Enjoy :)

not sure which image is sweeter

2011-10-04T07:57:00.000-05:00

baby food and thoughts on working / staying home

2011-10-03T13:59:00.002-05:00

Happy Monday Bloggers!

Sweet little P is napping right now, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to check in.

There's not a lot new going on here ... we're mostly trying to enjoy the wonderful Fall temperatures.

This past weekend we were able to spend a lot of time outside ... and I'm really thankful for that. We participated in the Buddy Walk, attended a surprise sweet 16 (where there was guitars, singing, and bonfires), and ate a lot of bar-b-q in the great outdoors.

It was a little chilly in Lexington this weekend, but today the weather is absolutely perfect. I'm thinking about running a couple errands after P wakes up, and maybe even sneaking in a trip to the arboretum.

Have I mentioned that I love my days off with him?

I love that I'm the one that gets to teach him things, cuddle with him, and watch him grow. I am also thankful for the wonderful childcare that we have on the days when I do have to work.

My heart is still torn about whether or not I could stay at home everyday. Right now working part-time is the perfect balance for our family, but when I look into the future I'm not sure how my career and motherhood will collide.

Currently, staying at home full-time isn't an option since Eric is in graduate school.

However, I still wonder ... how do women make the decision to stay at home or work ...

I can see if you hate your job wanting to stay at home, but what if you actually enjoy and feel called to your job?

How do you make the choice between being called to your work and being called at home?

I'm sure it has to be a difficult decision for some. I would love to hear from anyone out there who enjoyed, or even felt called to their job - but decided to stay at home.

I know all of this is planning way to far in the future, but I can't help my mind from wondering ... what will it be like when Eric is finished with school ... when I have the option ... will I continue to work?

My mind also wonders how people do it ... financially I mean. I understand how wives of doctors or lawyers stay at home, but I wonder the average family does it. I'm especially curious about families who are in full-time ministry (since that's what Eric is currently doing). How do you make the sacrifices? Where do you make the cuts? What is "enough" to live on?

As with other things in life, I know that I must wait on the Lord's timing ... and enjoy where we are for right now.

Anyways, I didn't plan on writing everything above ... it just kind of came out.

What I did plan on sharing was my new adventures in the world of making homemade baby food.

I've been having a lot of fun researching and whipping up some homemade treats for my little man.

The only problem is ... he doesn't seem to view this as treats.

He's been a little stinker when it comes to trying new things. He's so hit or miss.

I can feed him one thing one day and he'll eat it great, and then the next time I try he seals his lips and cry.

The next thing in parenting that is unpredictable ...

I should predict that things are going to be unpredictable by now!!

I'm not sure if it's my timing or if he's truly not a fan of my cooking :)
Or maybe he's just adjusting to eating solids.

Please email me or comment if you have any tips on introducing solids ... I'd love to hear any of your "tricks."

Here are a few snapshots from my new hobby:

Bake

Liquify

Freeze

Bag

Just in case you're curious ...

I did the math and it would've cost me approx. $14.00 to buy this much organic jarred baby food ... and this butternut squash only cost $2!!!

Crazy savings, huh?

tummy time

2011-09-28T21:12:00.000-05:00

Parker is slowly warming up to the idea of tummy time. He used to SCREAM after about 2 seconds on his tummy, but now he can last for almost 20 minutes!

He's also rolled from belly to back a couple of times ... once was with the help of Stella ... she gave him a little nudge with her nose!

Sometimes he still gets a little lazy, and lies his head down like this ...

and another one just for fun of little P eating his cereal

Yes, he's eating his cereal in his car seat.

Don't judge :)

My little man is growing up so fast, but honestly I love watching him change and learn new things.

I'm so proud of you little P!

Also, I'm interested in suggestions for toys to help stimulate him. Any suggestions?

completely random

2011-09-13T22:10:00.000-05:00

A few random things

1. I came in from work today and Parker and Eric were asleep on the couch. It was adorable. I couldn't believe how long Parker looked. He seriously looked like a little boy.

2. We've moved past the world of swaddling and graduated to the Aden and Anais sleep sack.

3. Things at work have been stressful and uncertain. A lot of changes are taking place. I love working with children and families. I do not want that to change. I also love being part-time and having the opportunity to spends lots of time with my little man. I am trying to cling to God's history of faithfulness. He never fails us.

4. I want to do something more creative with my life. I'm not sure what that would look like.

Maybe more jewelry stuff ... maybe a pop up shop ... maybe decorating a room in my house.

5. I have decided to stop pumping (since about 3 weeks I've pumped 100% of the time and given Parker the breast milk). We're weeding out possible allergies and I finally came to the decision that switching to formula was best for our family. I'm throwing all self-imposed guilt to the wind.

6. Does anyone else find that guilt tries to creep into a lot of areas of motherhood.

7. I love my little man more than I could have ever dreamed.

8. I am so excited to watch the premier of Up All Night.

9. I am even more excited for Eric and I to getaway next weekend for my bestie Shannon's wedding. She is going to be the most beautiful bride. I can't wait to see her all dolled up.

10. I can't wait to wear a pretty dress to the wedding.

11. I can't wait to wear Fall clothes. Especially boots.

12. I have a new addiction to lattes. Eric and I have been making them at home and it's AMAZING.

13. When I was driving to work today, I kept thinking about how much motherhood involves sharing your body. Pregnancy and breastfeeding are such amazing and self-sacrificing experiences. It is so good to go through these sanctifying experiences. God made women with such amazing purposes.

14. We've started a bedtime routine. It's so much fun. I think it is really good for little man. It goes a little something like bottle, change diaper, put on pjs and sleep sack, read goodnight moon, sing a short worship song, prayers (usually for a full nights sleep:), turn on sound machine, and lots of kisses on his forehead ... close the door and hope that I don't see his precious face again until 8:00am.

15. Eric started graduate school this month. I am so proud of him. He is going to make a wonderful school counselor one. He will make lasting impact in the life of students ... I am sure of it.

16. Motherhood is such a continuous transition. Babies, or children for this matter are always changing. Therefore, parents always need to be changing. I have found myself experiencing a lot of unexpected anxiety about this. I like things to be orderly and in my control. I am making daily attempts to surrender my anxieties and fears to Christ. Why do I worry about one thing, when before I know it, it will pass and there will be another thing to worry about. I want to live in the moment and remember that -this too shall pass-.

Shannon is getting married soooooo soon

2011-08-29T09:29:00.000-05:00

I'm in a rut of being about one month behind on the things I want to blog.

But ... better late than never - right?

One of my besties Shannon is getting married in

LESS THAN ONE MONTH

craziness ...

I am so so so so excited to adventure to South Carolina to watch her marry her love, Andy.

I'm excited to wear a pretty dress, sleepover with girls, hang out with all of our friends, see friends from out of town, and spend time baby free time with my husband.

It's going to be a good weekend.

Anyways, I thought I better share pictures from her shower / bachelorette weekend before her wedding day is here!

all pictures were taken by jenna
you can visit her blog here

Parker is almost four months

2011-08-26T21:36:00.001-05:00

So I guess now is as good of a time as any to share his three month pictures...

My little peanut,

I love you so much. It's amazing how my love for you continues to grow. You bring so much joy to your daddy and I's life. I love how much you smile. I love when you recognize my voice and instantly give me your gummy smile. I love it when we "talk" back and forth. You've got a lot to say and you love hearing the new noises you can make. You love sitting on your bumbo, but your daddy says it looks like you're on a roller coaster because your head wobbles a little. One thing that you do not love is tummy time. You get mad at me each time that I make you lay on your tummy, but I only want to make sure you grow to be big and strong. You still love to be swaddled up like a little burrito. Each morning though, I find you with your arms busted out. You love kicking your legs. You kick your legs with so much force, but you don't move anywhere. You still love your play mat, and you're getting much more coordinated at hitting the little animals.

You've been drooling more lately, and you're obsessed with putting your hands in your mouth. Really you like to put anything in your mouth ... your hands, blankets, sofi book, and paci. Oh ... you LOVE your paci. Sometimes you'll suck on it so hard that it leaves a print around your mouth. Your paci is a lifesaver for your daddy and I. We don't know what we would do without it. I can tell that your eyes are changing and focusing more clearly. When I read to you, I can tell that you're really looking at the pictures. We need together almost everyday. You also listen to your Coldplay lullabies everyday.

I cherish my days off with you. We're lazy and spend lots of time smiling at each other :)

When you're at home, you're so much better at your naps. This makes me very happy, bc I love to be lazy and nap when you do. You're still learning how to nap at school, but you're getting the hang of it. All of your teachers adore you. They say that you have a fan club at school. You also love your changing pad. I don't get it, but I'm glad that you like it. Everything you're on your changing pad, you smile, coo, and kick your legs. Sometimes it's hard for me to get your diaper on because you kick so much.

One thing that you and I haven't loved from this month is how sick you've been. You've had a really bad cough and congestion all month. You've been to the dr. several times now and we're still trying to figure out how to make you better. You've be given an antibiotic, and now we're giving you a round of steroids and breathing treatments. I hate filling your body with so much medicine, but more than anything I want you to get better. You've been waking yourself up a lot at night from your coughing fits. It breaks my heart. I want so badly for you to be healthy.

You're such a sweetie. Even though you're sick, you still laugh and smile all of the time. A lot of times you'll even get distracted from taking your bottle because you're smiling so much. Every night your daddy and I pray for you before you go to bed. Every night I pray that God would take away your cough, but more importantly, I pray that the Holy Spirit would fill your room and comfort you, that you would grow to know the Lord at a young age, and that you would never know a day when you didn't love Jesus. Yes, that's my one hope for you Parker - that you would grow up to never know a day that you didn't love Jesus ...

because He loves you so much.

And so does your daddy and I.

I came home from work the other day

2011-08-20T13:46:00.000-05:00

and Eric was taking pictures of little man lounging in our bed.

He's just so precious that I had to share

Happy Friday

2011-08-19T17:11:00.000-05:00

HAPPY FRIDAY!

So thankful that it is the weekend.

It's been a dragging week at work ... plus we've got a sick puppy and sick little man in the house

So this weekend is going to be low key as E and I nurse Parker and Stella back to health.

Hopefully I'll get a chance to blog a little too.

I really want to share his 3 month pictures with you guys.

Until next time ...

enjoy your weekend :)

loving life in my bumbo

2011-08-11T20:56:00.001-05:00

I'll be back soon with a re-cap on month three.

For now I'm going to lay on the couch and REST.

It's been a long week ... little man has been sick with a summer cold ... and up a lot coughing during the night ... it's pitiful...
and poor Stella is also not feeling well.

Be back soon.

the many faces of Parker

2011-08-04T21:04:00.000-05:00

Parker,

You're growing up way too fast.

Way too fast.

Please slow down and cuddle with me forever.

Thanks,

Your Mom

wide eyed little boy and other random things

2011-07-29T22:11:00.000-05:00

For some reason I like this picture.

Parker has always been such a wide-eyed little man ... taking in everything around him.

I've been single parenting it for the past couple days ... and it's not an easy task ... to say the least.

I always have respected single mothers ... but now I have a whole new respect.

I feel like I should serve and babysit for a single mother sometime ... because seriously when you're doing the parenting thing alone you have no time to yourself.

Parker has been great. He's such a fun little man. Smiling all the time ... especially in the mornings. I'm not a morning person, but mornings have become my favorite time with him.

He's also sleeping like a champ! He's been sleeping 10-11 hrs every night almost the past month. I am so so thankful. It's a strange new feeling to know that when I put him down at night, he's going to sleep until after the sun comes up :)

In other news ... work has been crazy busy for me lately.

Since returning from leave, I've jumped right in and have begun working with several families.

I feel refreshed lately. I do miss Parker each day I'm at work, but when I'm driving home, I often think about how much I love my job. I've been daydreaming lately of what it would be like to work in or start a private practice someday.

I know I haven't talked about home stuff much on here lately ... I've been a little consumed with feeding schedules, changing diapers, tummy time, naps, reading children's books, listening to Coldplay lullabies, and getting sleep at night.

But ... my mind has been full of thoughts about things I want to do to our house.

I blame it on Pinterest. I'm obsessed ... and the iPhone app makes my obsession even worse.

I'm dying to build a deck. We have a major mud problem in our backyard - it's a combination of two crazy golden's, way too much shade, and poor care on our part.

I deck would help tremendously.

Other things I'd like to do:

make a collage wall in our hall

paint our living room and hall

put in new countertops, backsplash, sink, faucet, lighting ... pretty much everything but floors and cabinets

tear out the nasty/weird shelves in our den and move our tv against the wall so we'll have space for another chair

Buy storage units at IKEA and put them in place of the useless armoire in our living room

I told you ... so many ideas floating around.

The deck will definitely be number one ... I think we're going to build it around October when it cools down a little.

Inspiration for the deck

Next might be purchasing the storage units from IKEA. Eric wouldn't really consider this a "project" so I could probably convince him to do it. Eric despises projects. He'll probably get mad just reading my writing about projects :)

I pretty much want to copy this picture...

Ok, so I said that the deck would be number one ... but I lied.

I think the collage wall will be because I already have a lot of the frames and pictures ready. I've been saving up for awhile now. I'm really excited to finally hang some of the pictures. I think it will help personalize our home.

Anyways, sorry for the totally random post.

Happy Friday night and enjoy your weekend!

I will definitely enjoy my time off with Parker and am really excited for Eric to come home :)

summertime at the park

2011-07-18T12:54:00.000-05:00

2 month photoshoot

2011-07-14T19:08:00.000-05:00

2 months old

2011-07-11T16:54:00.000-05:00

Parker,

You're 2 months old and you ...

are getting a big belly and chubby thighs

love to play on your mat - you've even grabbed the little ring twice

love to listen to coldplays lullaby music

love to look at your mobile and listen to your glow worm

started daycare and have a fan club

are getting a little better at taking naps - still keep me guessing though

(my favorite) - you smile and laugh at me a lot

smile a lot when you wake up

were visited by both of your grandma's and aunt's

are sleeping through the night (ok ... maybe this one is my favorite)

are drinking your milk a lot faster

are on the go a lot - you've been lots of places (and you're always so good)

still need your reflux medicine - which still makes you constipated - so we still give you prune juice

love your pacifier

love when I read to you - your eyes gets real big when you look at the pictures

love to sit in your boppy pillow and look out the window

only like tummy time for a couple minutes and then you fuss

are still so hard to burp

love to be swaddled, but you always break out - so now we double swaddle you

(oh the things we do to get you to sleep)

I love you more and more each day ... and I love it when you smile back at me ... it let's me know that you love me too.

stella and parker

2011-07-11T16:43:00.000-05:00

Parker has a new friend.

I think that Stella is pretty fond of him too.

Also, I promise that I will be back soon with Parker's 2 month pictures.

I really need to take his two month pictures before he's three months old!

sweetness

2011-07-05T21:08:00.000-05:00

it's all in the details

2011-07-03T21:30:00.000-05:00

Hello Bloggers! Hope your 4th of July weekends are going well.

Eric, Parker, and I have spent the day recovering from a trip up to Ohio for my cousins wedding. It was great seeing lots of family and having them meet baby P for the first time.

The trip must have really worn Parker out because he came home and slept through the night for the first time!!

I know there are a million different definitions of sleeping through the night ... so when I say that I mean he slept from his last feeding (9:00 last night because we were at the wedding) until 6:00 am. We got home from the wedding around midnight and I had 6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep. It was glorious. It is the best feeling in the world to wake up to his baby noises and also hear birds chirping :)

I never thought that I'd be so happy about getting up at 6:00 am!

I'm hoping that last night is a preview of things to come.

If I can brag on P a little bit more ...

He turned 2 months old today!!!

and took 2 naps today (both over an hr) ... this is a big deal over here at our house.

I'm so so proud of my little boy.

I'd say that being a parent is the closest thing that I've come experiencing unconditional love ... but if I'm honest ... I love him even more when he sleeps well :)

On a slightly different note ...

I took all of these pictures before Parker was born.

They've been saved as a draft post for months now.

I figured I'd go ahead and finally share a little more of the details from his nursery.

From here on ... this post might be all over the place ... but stick with me!

This buffet is the first thing we purchased for the nursery.

We purchased it from our neighbor Jack.

I love the curvy details. I also loved that I didn't have to sand it.

While we were doing the board and batten in Parker's room, our living room looked like this.

Eric stained the buffet a rich, dark brown.

Finished board and batten.

This seemed like it took forever to complete, but I am so thankful that we did it. It definitely adds a lot of character to an otherwise plain room. It really brightens things up a lot too!

I purchased the lamp and tray (I don't think it's called a tray, but my mind is blank on what else to call it) at our Peddler's Mall. I purchased the changing pad from our church's consignment sale.

We left the same chandelier (that I bought at our local Habitat for Humanity store) and spray painted it red. We also spray painted the lamp red and added a new white shade (from Target).

The navy swivel glider is also from the Peddler's Mall and I landed it for only $15!!

The pillows are made by Anna at For the Love of Joy

Repurposed old window.

Vintage Old Maid cards given to us from a friend.

Vintage wooden US puzzle pieces I bought on etsy ... and turned them into magnets.

Parker's closet ... full of his itty bitty clothes.

Some of these he's already outgrown ... sad.

This closet used to be mine.

Now Eric and I share the closet in our bedroom ... that is also this size.

Impressive I know. Less is more, right?

Plant from my office.

Calendar from my wonderful friend Jen.

I try to write a memory on each day's card, but I'm not very consistent :(

Diaper and wipes caddy.

Airplane mobile that was a gift from the Ryders.

The mobile and industrial metal P are both from Restoration Hardware

Socks the Fox!

I can't wait for Parker to cuddle Socks someday. Eric bought Socks as Valentines Day gift for me ... for Parker :) I bought him a Coldplay lullaby cd.

Can you tell that I love BlaBla dolls?

We purchased Mr. Watson during our babymoon in Charleston SC.

I wanted some vintage airplane prints, but the only ones I could fine were from Pottery Barn and I wasn't willing to shell out the money for them.

So ... I made my own!

Jen found a vintage WW2 aircraft book during one of our trips to the peddler's mall. The book was FULL of pictures of vintage planes.

Poms in the shape of the sun and clouds.

The little airplanes covered in maps were decorations from my baby shower.

Storage for blankets, burp cloths, and toys.

Quote from The Chronicles of Narnia.

Red hooks were on clearance at Anthro

I think that's about it! Feel free to email me if you have any questions!

I hope you all enjoy your holiday off tomorrow.

Night!

it's been so long

2011-06-30T22:05:00.000-05:00

It's late and I need to be in bed because I have to work tomorrow.

And I have to get up in the middle of the night to feed our little man.

But, Eric just reminded me that I haven't blogged in 2 weeks.

I can't even believe it.

I want this blog to be a form of journal for our family ... so I'm really going to try to not go so long in between posts.

Anyways, it's late and I don't have a lot of time to write ... but I'll share a couple photos from our trip to the farmer's market last Saturday

(little man is getting so tall)

(smiles)

(look at that belly on baby P)

(stylin')

breakfast, two guys in ties, and more parker

2011-06-16T20:34:00.001-05:00

A few things from the past week:

Parker attended his first rehearsal dinner.

He was perfect. Slept the entire time & woke up at the very end so that all the ladies could hold him.

My two favorite guys in their ties, getting ready for the rehearsal dinner.

Thanks Cory for the tie onesies!

The onesie he is wearing in this picture is 3-6 months ... he is growing SO fast!

Then, the next morning we hosted a breakfast for the bridesmaids

Aren't they beautiful?

The bride and groom are currently on their honeymoon in the Bahamas!

I am so jealous.

I keep asking Eric to take me to the beach.

Maybe next year.

Then on Monday, Eric's sister (Aunt Jenn) came and stayed with us for a couple of days.

It was amazing having the extra help around here!

Jenn, we're going to miss you!

Parker says to come back soon.

Parker loves looking out the window.

Last but not least, a few pictures of Parker lounging on our bed while we were getting ready to take him on a stroller ride tonight.

It's amazing how much happier he is during his awake time now that he is on his medicine!

That's all I have for now.

Little man is asleep, so Eric and I are going to watch a movie :)

It's been a long time since we started a movie at almost 10:00.

Maybe we're crazy ... or maybe things are starting to feel a little more normal.

a one month re-cap

2011-06-14T14:33:00.000-05:00

My little man is already over a month old.

Actually, he's six weeks old today.

I go back to work in 2 weeks.

The time seems like it has flown by.

But it also seems like he's been apart of our family forever.

Parker,

You have no idea how much your mom and dad love you. I love it when you finish eating (and you're a VERY slow eater by the way) and you lay your little head on my chest. You love laying your head on my chest and listening to my heart beat. You're very strong, and already hold your head up so well. You love it when I hold you to burp you and you hold your head up and look out of the window. Now that you're a couple of weeks older, you also love playing on your activity mat. I don't think you follow anything with your eyes yet, but you love looking up at all the toys hanging down. I love reading you books because you're so focused and look right at my because you recognize my voice. You love taking baths with me, but you're very slippery and we need your daddy's help.

We've had some struggles during this past month. During the first few weeks, you had a hard time eating, but now you're taking your bottle so well. I was a little sad about giving you a bottle, but now I know it is best for you and your daddy and I. Your belly has hurt you a lot during this first month, and it's made for some long days with lots of crying. I am sorry for all of the times I got frustrated with you and didn't understand why you were crying. Now that you're on your medicine, you seem to be much happier.

You still don't love to nap, and you fight sleep. I have to pat you and hold you real close to me until you give in and your eyes start to close. It's also difficult to get you to stay to sleep in your crib during the day. You almost always wake up 30 minutes after you've been asleep (and you're not a happy camper when you wake up) - but that's also getting better now that you've been on your medicine. At night though, you sleep like a champ! When we put you down after you eat at night, you squirm a little, but you very rarely ever cry. You go to sleep on your own, and typically go 4-5 hrs between feedings.

You've gone so many places already in your first month. You love going places, and you love it when new people hold you. You're usually really good when we're out places, and people think that your daddy and I lie about you crying.

Other than your struggles with your belly, you've been a very healthy boy.

You already weigh 11 lbs and sometimes drink 6 oz of milk!

I love you so much Parker. I worry too much about trying to do everything right. I worry about your eating and sleeping way too much. I am trying not to worry and just enjoy every second with you. I know that you will grow up too fast, and I will miss the days when you'd only want to cuddle and lay on my chest. I love everything about you. I love your crazy faces - especially your turtle face. I love your wide eyes, and the way you stare and even cross your eyes. I love your little bubble toes. I love calling you lots of names like - little man, little p, baby p, and peanut. I love it when you're swaddled like a little burrito. I love standing up and holding you between your daddy and I, as we pray for you each night.

I am so thankful that you're my son.

I can't wait to watch you grow up.

look who's one month

2011-06-08T16:14:00.000-05:00

Last Friday little P turned one month.

Wow, this month has been hands down the most life changing month for me.

It seems crazy that he is already one month, but at the same time, it seems like Parker has been in our lives forever.

When we brought him home we snapped these photos:

(Addie the assistant)

At one month we snapped a few more:

I'll be back soon with a little one month re-cap (and a little letter to Parker)

the seasons are short

2011-06-05T20:15:00.001-05:00

When talking to another mother at church this morning about Parker she said -

"The days are long, but the seasons are short."

My goal is to hold onto that.

Even when the days are long and difficult - I still want to enjoy every moment with Parker - because I know that these days will go by quickly.

With everything in me, I am going to try not to wish them away.

I want to worry less and love him more.

That's the goal.

One day at a time.

As for a little update:

This weekend his definitely been better than last weekend. We were on the go a lot with graduation parties and spending time with friends, and he was way more content. I think my little man is like his mom and dad, and likes to be on the move!

He sleeps a lot better in his infant seat and with a lot of background noise.

So whatever works right?

When we're at home I still try to put him in his crib for his naps.

AND - today he actually slept in his crib for 1 1/2 hrs!

We put in a wedge thing and put a blanket over the window to make it darker. I am not sure if either of those two things made any difference, or if it was just a fluke! haha I am hoping for more long naps in our little man's future.

As for the reflux - I am not sure if I have noticed much difference with the Zantac.

I called on Friday and told them that he was still squirming and arching his back while he ate, and they upped his dose. We're supposed to call back tomorrow and let the Dr. know if we see any difference - and really I haven't seen much.

So there's the update on our little man.

It's crazy how I can be equally frustrated, exhausted, and in love with him all at the same time.

Some other things going on -

on Thursday night I am joining Eric and some of the graduating seniors for a really fun night. I would say what we're doing, but we're leaving it as a surprise for the seniors. Some wonderful friends are going to watch Parker and we're going out! I am really excited.

Then, on Saturday my parents are coming up to spend some time with Parker while Eric and I attend a wedding. I am excited for Parker to get to spend more time with grandparents ... and I feel like going to a wedding with Eric will almost be like a little date!

It's crazy how much I used to take spending time with Eric for granted - and now I will cherish the quiet and alone time we have.

That's about it! Baby P is sleeping in his swing and I'm off to watch a movie with Eric :)

Night.

about to pull my hair out

2011-06-01T14:05:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of blog posts lately.

I've been a little preoccupied by ...

a screaming baby.

This is not a joke. I am losing my mind.

This is what he looks like ... every second that he is awake.

And he's awake A LOT. He won't sleep at all during the day. I'll feed him and he'll be fussy for a minute afterwards, I'll put him down for a nap ... he'll sleep for about 20-30 minutes and then wake up screaming only to cry until his next feeding.

I constantly feel like I am doing something wrong.

I don't even think he's been conditioned to cry to be held because even when I hold him he keeps crying and fussing.

And so the cycle continues

crying and won't sleep = won't eat well = more crying = gets himself overstimulated by crying = more crying

People say that they grow out of this. I might go crazy first.

I called the dr. and described his symptoms and the prescribed him Zantac for reflux.

He's only had 2 doses, but he's crying the same.

He is literally NEVER content.

Any advice from someone who has gone through this?

Please email me if you have any thoughts / words of encouragement

(rachel.ridd@gmail.com)

Please pray for us here at the Ridd home...

Jenna has done it again (Parker's Newborn Pictures)

2011-05-26T19:02:00.000-05:00

Yes, Jenna has once again taken amazing pictures!

Here are a couple of the ones she took for Parker's newborn shoot ...

I'd have to say, he's pretty precious!

Thank you Jenna!

I will always cherish these pictures.

more of baby parker's first days

2011-05-24T16:00:00.000-05:00

Hello Bloggers :)

Just checking in to let you all know that we're doing well.

Parker is THREE WEEKS today!!

Seriously exhausted, but really we are doing well.

I find myself holding Parker and loving him more each day.

I especially love him when he sleeps for 4 hr stretches :)

I am healing well, and getting used to caring for another person around the clock.

Each day seems to be a little more normal, and when I look back over the week, then I can really see the changes in Parker and I.

Parker is still not nursing well, so after talking with Eric and our pediatrition we have decided the I will attempt to pump and feed him breast milk for at least 12 weeks.

12 weeks is my personal goal ... after that we will talk more about other options.

I am enjoying my days at home with Parker. I am not sure how I will feel about going back to work part-time in 5 weeks. Although these days can be long and hard, I am trying to enjoy every moment because I know that before I know it my maternity leave will be over.

Parker went to the pediatrition today for his checkup and he is doing fabulous!

He weighed in at 9 lbs 5 oz.

He's a growing little boy and has put on about 2 lbs since we brought him home from the hospital. He's also one inch longer at 22 inches. The dr. said he's currently in the 90th percent tile for height ... he's a tall little man. I hope he stays tall like his daddy.

Anyways, that's about it right now.

Somedays I feel good & somedays I feel like I have been hit by a bus.

I keep reminding myself that feeling like you've been hit by a bus is a normal feeling when you have a 3 week old - AND IT WON"T LAST FOREVER.

Here are a few pictures of Parker's first days ...

Parker's Birthday

2011-05-17T21:19:00.000-05:00

Hello Bloggers!

Sorry it has been so long. I thought that I would blog all the time once I was on maternity leave ... but WOW ... I had no idea how much of an adjustment this whole baby thing would be :)

While it is a huge adjustment, Eric and I are learning new things about our little man each day.

Each day I feel like - I have no clue what I am doing ...

and each day I feel like I start to understand little Parker a little better.

We're slowly figuring each other out & I am figuring out that I don't know a lot of raising a newborn. But I guess no one does until you have one.

I have so many questions each day about how to get him to sleep in his crib without crying ... or when will he have a bedtime like other kids do ... or when will he take naps in the afternoons?

I know he's only 2 weeks old, but I wonder about these things.

Thankfully I have a wonderful mom, mother-in-law, and friends to go to for advice.

So we're hanging in there.

Parker is doing well at night. He sleeps anywhere from 3-5 hours at a time. I feel like that is pretty good. He's really unpredictable about if he'll go in his crib without crying. Sometimes he will go right down, and other times he cries.

Hopefully that is normal too.

We're feeding him around 10-11ish and getting in bed around 12ish, and then he usually gets up around 4ish. I would like to start putting him in bed after he eats at 8ish, but he doesn't seem to want to cooperate.

For whatever reason he is the fussiest after his 8ish feeding.

So right now he is sleeping on the couch beside of me ... and I am praying that he will be sleepy again after he eats around 11.

Last night he slept on my chest from about 8-10, and then we fed him and tried to put him back down and he was WIDE awake. We didn't get him to sleep until about 1:00 am ... so I'm really hoping that doesn't happen again tonight.

Anyways, that's about all that is going on here.

We're slowly getting used to this new normal.

Figuring out how to get a baby to eat and sleep well isn't the easiest job in the world ... but we do LOVE him a ton :)

And everyone we talk to says that it gets easier ... so I'm hoping that is true.

On another note, I thought that it is about time I share some pictures from Parker's "birth"day - exactly 2 weeks ago today :)

I'll spare you all the gorey ones that Eric took.

Here I am - on the other side of the curtain ...

and here is the view from the other side - pre cutting me open

Still smiling

This one might be a little gorey for some ... if you look closely you can see his head starting to come out.

Here he is all crazy and alien looking.

The amazing thing is, when they held him up for me to see and he looked just like this all I could think we how perfect he was.

Our first family picture

Love at first sight.

The first time I held him.

It's amazing how I can't look at these pictures without crying.

I am overwhelmed by how perfect he is ... and also blown away by how much older he seems at 2 weeks old.

As difficult as this newborn stage is, I can already feel that time is going to fly by and I need to soak in each moment that I have with him.

Alright, I'm off to feed him again and "try" to get some sleep for the night :)

I'll be back soon with more pictures from our time at the hospital.

parker john

2011-05-07T18:07:00.001-05:00

Hello Bloggers!

Taking a quick break from cuddling on this little guy

to thank everyone for their prayers and support.

Parker John Ridd was born on

5.3.11 at 4:26 pm

7 lbs 14 oz

21 inches

The c -section went perfectly and it was so comforting to know so many people were praying. The constant stream of calls, messages, and emails from friends and family letting me know that they were praying for us really gave me a sense of peace & I was able to enjoy the entire experience.

I'll be back soon to share more pictures.

Eric has been taking a ton and I am so thankful!

For now, he's got a lot of sleeping and feeding to do.

rashy

2011-05-02T10:41:00.001-05:00

First ...

thanks for all of your sweet words on the nursery.

Also, I just wanted to give you a little update.

Eric and I went to the Dr. this morning and the c - section has been pushed back from

12:00 until 3:00.

Either way, Parker is still coming tomorrow.

I am very excited to meet him, but still scared about having my stomach cut open.

And I am still rashy

(if you have a really weak stomach, then don't look)

sick huh?

Eric told me not to post this picture - but I'm doing it anyways.

I want to rip my skin off.

Last night I told Eric that I think it's very possible that people in hell have rashes.

It is pure torture.

Alright, I'm off to cover my legs in calamine lotion and take a nap.

big news and a nursery reveal

2011-05-01T22:30:00.002-05:00

Happy Sunday Bloggers!

Hope you had a restful and lovely weekend.

Eric and I enjoyed lots of time outdoors, good food, and a couple naps before baby Parker makes his big arrival on ....

TUESDAY!

Yes, Tuesday is the day.

It's been one crazy week, but through a lot of prayer and counsel we have came to a joint agreement to go with the c -section.

I still can't say that I am super excited about having a c -section, but I am coming around to the idea. I am trying to focus on the positives.

Most of all I am trying to focus on the craziness that on Tuesday our son will be born.

He will make us parents.

I will get to see what he looks like.

I will get to hold him.

C - section or natural - I will still get to meet him on Tuesday.

Tuesday will be a good day.

I can't wait to look into his eyes, and see the life that has been inside of me for 9 months.

The c - section is scheduled for Tuesday at 12:00 pm.

Eric and I would truly appreciate all of your prayers.

Please specifically pray that Eric and I would have courage and peace in the Lord who is over our lives - and please pray for Parker's health and safety as he enters this world!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So, in lieu of Parker's big news ... I thought that I would go ahead and share his FINISHED nursery.

Yes, everything is finally finished.

Remember the before:

just a plain drywall box with grey paint.

and the during:

added some architectural details with the board and batten

cleared out all the junk

Then, we shopped at a lot of thrift stores, etsy,consignment stores, yard sales, the peddler's mall, craigslist, and received many wonderful gifts from friends ...

and transformed the room ...

AFTER

we mixed modern fabrics (like the yellow chevron), clean white lines, and vintage touches (my favorite might be the airplane mobile).

I love looking at all the little details of the room.

Almost everything in the room was either

a gift

handmade by a friend or us

taken from the old guest bedroom and re purposed (like the chandelier, pelmet boxes, and vintage window)

found on one of my many "treasure hunts" - my girlfriends and I call them treasure hunts & Eric likes to say that we're going "gold digging"

For some reason that always makes me laugh

I'll be back soon with more detailed shots ... more info & cost on the different items around the room!

Please remember our family in your prayers on TUESDAY :)

pregnancy diaries - 37 weeks (and feeling it)

2011-04-27T18:30:00.002-05:00

Hey there bloggers!

I keep telling myself that I am going to get back in the habit of blogging more often, but for whatever reason I haven't.

I do have lots to share though.

I feel like I need to write in order to get everything out of my mind.

Things have been hard.

I have been really emotional lately.

In the past few days, I've had all kinds of thoughts, feelings, and selfishness come up.

I keep asking myself - why didn't I think or feel any of these things for the past 9 months?

I still feel extremely blessed to have baby Parker inside of me.

But it's been hard.

I was going to include a cute picture from our maternity photo shoot, but I decided to look down and take this picture with my iphone instead.

The lighting isn't great, but I think you can get a pretty good idea of the rash that is COVERING my stomach - and is spreading all over my body.

And that's by ankle wrapped in a cold towel so that I don't scratch my skin off.

So let me back track a little for you.

Even prior to the rash I was feeling a little sick of being pregnant. I still loved feeling him move around, but my back hurt and I had a few other pains that I won't go into detail about. Everything was normal - that's just life when you're in your last couple of weeks of pregnancy. I don't know if many people love the way they feel when they're about to pop out a baby.

There were a couple of times when I sat in my car on my lunch break and cried to Eric and said - they have to get this baby out of me. And he would sweetly assure me that baby Parker wasn't ready yet.

Then, about 2 weeks ago I went part-time at work and started to feel like a new person.

I felt like I had a lot more energy, and my days off gave me the time I needed to "nest" and get everything ready.

THEN, last Friday I went in for my weekly appointment (I was 36 1/2 weeks) and had a small rash on my stomach. My OB said looks like you have "PUPPS (google it)." At the time it didn't really bother me, so I didn't say much about it. She just advised me to use hydrocortisone if it started to itch. When she checked me on Friday I still wasn't dilated or effaced. I felt pretty bummed about that, but I was OK.

THEN ... over the weekend, the rash took over. All in all it was a good weekend and I spent some really nice quality time with Eric, but I was increasingly more itchy.

And the rash spread from a small patch on my stomach - to covering my entire stomach. It burned and itched at the same time. And then it spread to my thighs, hands, and ankles. I couldn't sleep. I felt like I was going insane with the itching. If there is one thing that makes you feel like you're losing your mind - it's itching.

So on Monday I called my Dr. to tell her how the PUPPS had spread. She told me to come in so she could take a look at it. When I got to the office it was kind of like - "yep it's definitely PUPPS, but there is nothing we can do to make it go away. Delivery is the only thing." She told me a couple of remedies that might help, but I had tried everything.

Solarcaine hydrocortisone, calamine lotion, aveeno lotion, benadryl, even preparation h in hopes to calm to burning! haha

She did say that she could give me a round of steroids, but she didn't advise it because the side effects were not favorable. I wasn't for the steroids either because everything I had read online (yes, I compulsively researched "PUPPS" - the weird rash that no one has ever heard of) said that steroids should be avoided.

Then, she checked my cervix again. Still not dilated or effaced. Although she did say that my cervix was a little softer, but all in all - no progression.

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I laid there on the table with my rashy body and cried.

She told me that she could do an amnio and test his lung maturity (I was full-term at this point) and if the results came back saying that his lungs were mature, then we could induce.

Then she went over all the risks associated with getting an amnio (like a good Dr. should) but I just cried even harder. I felt a mix of pain and guilt.

After talking it over with Eric and the doctor, we decided to go ahead and schedule the amnio.

After scheduling the amnio and induction, I was instantly flooded with emotion.

Was I doing the right thing?

I processed it, and decided that doing the amnio was the right thing ... and because of his size it was probably a good idea to induce early. And either way the amnio would let us know if we shouldn't go forward.

I can't explain it, but I quickly went from "please get this baby out of me" to "holy crap I"m not ready."

I had felt ready and excited through this entire pregnancy.

And then all the sudden, I was filled with anxiety.

You might think I am crazy, but being honest here -

I laid in bed Monday and Tuesday night and cried.

I am usually not a crier.

Monday I was anxious about our lives changing. You might think - didn't you think about that for the past 8 months? But no, I really didn't. I was just so excited.

I had a lot of selfish (but hopefully normal) feelings going through my head.

I cried and told Eric how happy I was with him. How happy I was being married to him.

And I even said - I love my life with you - I don't want it to change.

I wanted this baby. Prayed for this baby. Felt excited for Parker. He was planned.

And all of the sudden - I didn't want my life with Eric to change.

I felt selfish and wanted things to stay how they are - because they're so good now.

Crying to him Monday night made me realize how much I love Eric & how much I love being married to him. But along with that I realized how scared I was for things to change.

I thought about our time the we spent just a year ago in Europe and cried thinking - it will never be the two of us again.

Yesterday, I sat on the phone and spilled out all of these thoughts to my good friend Angie. She listened and assured me that I wasn't a terrible and selfish person. She brought me back to the truth of the blessing that Parker was & spoke from experience to the joy that a child brings to your marriage.

After talking to several friends and spending time in prayer I felt a little better. Still sick to my stomach and nervous about the amnio, but a little better.

Then, I tried to go to bed last night. I couldn't stop itching.

Again I cried - and Eric listened.

This time it was different. This time I cried because the pregnancy was almost over. Such a joyful time for Eric and I was coming to an end. I thought about all the amazing memories we'd had with friends, family, and one another throughout the past 9 months, and I cried because it was almost over. I thought about reading books to him in his room, walking around buy buy baby, showers, praying for him - everything from being pregnant with your first baby was coming to an end.

How can a women go from "get this baby out of me" to crying about it being over I do not know!! But that is how I felt.

Eric also reminded me of how I cried when we came home from our honeymoon because I wasn't going to be living with my roomies and best friends anymore.

So I guess crying is one way that I deal with change.

I think I cried myself to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling nauseous and scared.

I was nervous. But I held it together and went in for the amnio without any tears.

The amnio wasn't too bad. Hurt a little, but OK.

I left after the amnio this morning feeling confident that the Dr. was going to call and say that I was good to go to begin induction tonight.

We were ready. Bags packed. Dog sitters lined up. Family and friends were ready and excited.

And my heart changed. I walked outside of the Dr.'s office and it was sunny. Since it's been so rainy lately, it was a blessing to see the sun.

Eric and I ate lunch together and I felt joy. I felt excitement. I felt ready to meet baby Parker. I didn't feel scared, selfish, or nauseous - but I still felt itchy.

THEN, at 3:00 today the Dr. called. The test came back saying that Parker's lungs were in the transition stage. They have a range - under 35 means immature ... over 55 means fully mature, and his came back at 51.

The Dr. advised to hold off on the induction. I felt good about that. I definitely didn't want to induce if his lungs were not ready. I felt like God had intervened and stopped things. I had prayed for that this would happen if it wasn't His timing.

Then, the Dr. went on to tell me her concerns for Parker's size.

As of today, they estimated that he weighs 8 lbs 5 oz.

His head is measuring at 37 weeks, his legs are measuring at 37 weeks, but his stomach is measuring at 41 weeks. She said that this typically means that his is more "round" than long.

She wants to induce or schedule c-section for next week.

My initial reaction was to be induced and go for a vaginal delivery.

She proceeded to inform me of the risks associated with delivering a baby that is large.

She is particularly concerned about his head coming out and shoulders getting stuck- which can lead to a lot of complications.

So Eric and I are left with a decision to make.

C-section or induction?

There seems to be more risks associated with going for the vaginal delivery.

But at the same time, I keep thinking - what if there wrong about the size?? - Isn't my body made to do this??

And also thinking - why would I go for the vaginal birth if it's going to put him at risk?

So that's were we stand.

Eric and I are going to prayerfully make a decision in the next couple of days.

And I am going to be praying my HEART OUT that Parker would make his debut into the world all on his own ... before any scheduled induction or c-section.

I know that may not be God's plan, but I still going to tell God the desires of my heart.

Please pray for baby Parker.

Pray that he would come.

All on his own - ready - in the perfect timing.

(PS - I'm not going to read over this post before publishing - I'm going ahead and posting. Sorry in advance for an errors)

showering baby Parker

2011-04-20T21:52:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, my friends threw Parker and I an amazing shower.

I love showers because it is so many of my favorite people in one place.

Of course, my friends paid attention to every detail and made everything perfect.

Some of the decorations I am going to use in his room - which I will share soon - I promise.

I just don't feel right sharing until it is for real finished.

And there is only one more thing to do!

Anyways, here are a few snapshots of the shower

A HUGE thank you to everyone who planned and attended.

I have the best friends in the world.

ties for a baby

2011-04-19T19:14:00.001-05:00

My friend Cory made Parker these onesies.

She's awesome at sewing.

They're so precious that I had to share.

I can't wait to take him to church in his little newborn onesie.

Precious.

Thanks Cory!

I love them.

maternity photo shoot - 35 weeks (part 4)

2011-04-18T20:57:00.002-05:00

Hello Bloggers!

Hope your Monday went well.

Mondays are now one of my days off - and let me tell you it is fabulous.

On Saturday I start telling E how excited I am to be off on Monday.

Anyways, not a lot of time to write tonight.

Things have been a little stressful here in the Ridd household.

Last week it rained a lot.

And Wednesday morning we woke up to a leak in the roof with nasty stains on the ceiling, a sub pump that stopped working, a flooded craw space, and a furnace & AC unit that no longer worked bc they were damaged by the flooding in the craw space.

Yes, all of the happened overnight.

So we've been a little busy here.

Trying not to stress or worry.

Getting lots of estimates.

And trying to get ready for baby Parker to arrive.

I really don't want to complain here on the blog - just wanted to share why I don't have a lot of write tonight.

I'll hopefully be back soon with a update on the nursery. It is ALMOST finished.

Only ONE thing left to do.

Frame and hang the airplane prints.

I keep going to target and they are always sold out of the frames I want.

Or they have like 2 and they're scratched.

Blah

I also hope to be able to create and photograph some new pieces of jewelry!

And I have lots of pictures (that my friends took) to share of our baby shower from this weekend!

Be back soon ...

maternity photo shoot - 35 weeks (part 3)

2011-04-15T06:43:00.001-05:00

Listen to me, O house of Jacob,

all you who remain of the house of Israel,

you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,

and have carried since your birth.

Even to your old age and gray hairs

I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you;

I will sustain you and I will rescue you.